If waiting for the birth of your first child proves a nervous nine months, imagine how Sarah - author of Bartley’s Books and the creative vision behind ‘Parenting through Stories’ - and her good friend, Rachel , who has illustrated the first book in the series, feel about their bear finally bouncing into being … after nine years!
Here’s a little about how Bartley was born and why this is one extraordinary little bear…
Books and bewilderment
Somehow, we do it…nine (ish) months pass and a little bundle arrives. And that’s it: we’re right in there…parents! Parenting! And absurdly under-qualified, we feel, to do so.
Seeking support, advice, answers - anything! - we read, through the fug of sleep-deprivation and in the small hours, book after book on how to do it better.
As chubby thighs grow into tottering legs, and grasping little fingers morph into sometimes inexplicably angry fists, gleaning sound advice on ‘how to manage’ the challenging behaviours of toddler-dom becomes ever more pressing.
Pass me the Handbook!
Not unsurprisingly, given her role as Consultant Clinical Psychologist, when her first son turned one she also sought the wisdom of other experts.
Following an attachment and relational approach to children’s emotional development in her clinical work, she sought to model this as a parent. Rather than focusing on just rewarding or giving consequences to a child’s behaviours, this model suggests that children need to understand what’s happening to them emotionally and be helped to respond to and learn from it.
And many of the parenting books offered her advice on this attachment approach.
But that’s when she saw the bear-sized hole in the market.
The books were ‘parenting manuals’: no kids allowed.
“The books told parents what to do,” she explains, “but that very fact excluded the child. How parents put the advice into practice was left entirely down to chance and circumstance - and would probably be first tested at those high pressure moments of ‘mis-behaviour’, tantrums or stress.”
Bartley Bear was born to bring the child into the story
We all know how lovely those bedtime snuggles are: choosing a book; dimming the lights; smelling freshly washed hair. Isn’t the very act of sitting down, or cuddling up, with your little and a story before bed one of the best things about being a mum or dad?
What ‘Parenting through Stories’ aims to do, is use these moments to help parents connect to their children’s world: Bartley models the very behaviours the parenting manuals describe, but for the child as well, and in moments of calm reflection, rather than acute stress.
“I wanted to make it about them - and what’s going on for them,” says Sarah. “It’s Bartley’s world, but that world, particularly his emotional world, is paralleled by your child’s.”
Bartley’s adventures cover the usual challenges of growing up: leaving mum or dad, healthy eating, bedtime and tricky behaviours…and provides a safe space to explore big feelings, label them and help children understand themselves better as a result.
Paws and reflect
The lift-the-flap element is another layer of the ‘Parenting through Stories approach’. In the guise of a fun feature, it’s a clever little psychological tool.
Each flap contains a question, posed by the curious squirrel, Nudge. Each question creates an opportunity for reflection on Bartley’s situation, feelings or behaviours…and, if a parent wants, their child’s as well.
Sarah’s expertise is evident in the complementary Parenting Handbook - read alongside Bartley’s adventures, it elucidates the theories which underpin the advice Bartley’s Books deliver.
But: it’s the picture-book itself - and the act of reading it with your child - which opens up the power of parenting through stories and why it works: providing a space for parents and children to read, to talk, and to grow…together.
Bartley’s first adventure - “Please Stay Here - I Want You Near” - is the focus of our crowdfunding campaign and covers the topic of separation anxiety.
Follow our weekly blog and @parentingthroughstories for more information on this book, the wider series of Bartley’s Books, practical tips for gentle parenting - and the team behind Parenting through Stories.
We’re thrilled you’ve found us.